Cecil's journal

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Wednesday, July 18th, 2001
21:16 ++ Jul 18thPublic
aww

pigli deleted her journal. so sad. fuck you.

welcome to the seething pit of crap that is livejournal. you know, if I didn't still have one or two people who I care about that I can only talk to on here, I'd be SO fucking out of here.

this is the shittiest shit that ever shitted. I hate LJ. I hate the users. I hate everyone. Except you guys.

I think this is basically goodbye. I don't see myself updating this journal much anymore. My last post was a turning point. And when I got ambushed on it by pigli and friends, well, then, that's a good suggestion to the way I should turn.

Sorry. Nothing personal. Anyone who really wants to talk to me is welcome to drop by the MOO, where I am Cecil. Gonna miss you guys.

And, because I can never end a post without screwing something up, let me finish off by saying fuck. you.

>6 mistakes ++ correct me<

Sunday, July 15th, 2001
16:30 ++ Jul 15thPublic
Everyone will be mad at me.

But I removed some people from my friends list. Either people who I never talked to, or whatever. Just ... whatever. Sigh.

Yeah, big deal. I mean, I make SO many posts anyway. And ALL of them are private. Oh wait, no I don't.

Sigh.


current mood: uncomfortable

>3 mistakes ++ correct me<

Thursday, July 12th, 2001
21:58 ++ Jul 12thPublic
Emmy!

Hi! Emmy is a sweetheart. :) Gotta love the Emmy!

Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I've been busy with work, and just generally bored of LJ. I'm sure people have better friends to care about. I'm just some random dude who comments now and then.

I have been doing well though. Work is great. By the way: FINAL FANTASY IS THE

BEST. MOVIE. EVER.

I have heard from Meggi. It didn't depress me as much as I was expecting. I even emailed her back. And got a reply. And eventually sent another reply back. Skydiving has been postponed a week or two due to scheduling conflicts. Next paycheck is going towards clothes and saving for a motorcycle or something, how exciting. Heh. Well, speaking of clothes, beep says the dryer, so it is time for me to put the next load in and go to sleep.

Oh yeah, I should mention that I've been walking a lot lately. Maybe I will lose some weight and turn into a buff studmuffin, then I can really REALLY laugh at all those girls who dumped me. I would have WAY too much fun rubbing that in people's faces. Yeah. That's likely. But a man can dream. Sigh.


current mood: blank

>7 mistakes ++ correct me<

Sunday, June 24th, 2001
09:33 ++ Jun 24thPublic
Again, sorry I haven't updated

I've been really busy. So I guess I'm insane. Going to see hilly next weekend, yay. Going skydiving in a few weeks maybe, if I'm not too damn fat. Meh.

current mood: uncomfortable

>correct me<

Saturday, June 16th, 2001
07:20 ++ Jun 16thPublic
computers kick ass

Check this out

This is where my next three paychecks, and the one I just got, are going.

Yay. What a pretty machine.

And I am using Norton Ghost to image my 2gb C: partition onto my 20gb D: partition. This way, when windows starts sucking, I can simply use Ghost to write the old saved image back over the C: partition, and voila, new Windows install without the hassle! I'm going to have to make a better install of Windows, though. With a fresh install, and everything set up 'just so'.

Oh yeah. And I'm doing well, thanks for asking.


current mood: listless

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

Monday, June 11th, 2001
11:02 ++ Jun 11thPublic

Hilly is kewl. She wanted my phone number so she could call me. Yay. No one ever calls me. But now Hilly wants to. This makes me happppppy. Yay.

I'm at work right now, and probably shouldn't be writing this, and should be *gasp* working instead. I'm going out for lunch today at a supposedly really good italian restaurant. Sounds interesting. Anyway, back to work now


current mood: happy

>correct me<

Sunday, June 3rd, 2001
21:17 ++ Jun 3rdPublic
grumble

Okay, excuse the rant, but people keep saying this to me lately and it's irritating the hell out of me.

Why do people assume that because I have a lot of female friends that I have any luck with relationships, or have a relationship, or could get one if I wanted to?

I AM NOT A CHICK MAGNET. SHUT UP. YEARGH. I am an ugly, bitter, nasty resentful SOB. Who is ugly, and stupid. Girls want to be my friend. They don't want to be my girlfriend. I don't particularly like it, but I'll be okay... However, I wish people would stop thinking that this is not the case. Yes I AM friggin lonely. No I CANNOT go out with any girl I want, because they do not want me. Sheesh.

Sorry about that rant. Really, I am fine. I just wish people didn't think that everything was like super peachy happy keen for me, because it's not. It's okay, but it's not that good. Geez.


current mood: annoyed

>5 mistakes ++ correct me<

20:43 ++ Jun 3rdPublic
Meeep I am back :)

I know I haven't updated in awhile. I'm really sorry.

So anyway, I bought a new Gamepad. Logitech Wingman Rumblepad. It's very nice. Exactly what I was looking for. It has an 8-way D-Pad for playing games that only use 8-way, and two 360 degree mini-joysticks for everything else. I could've just gotten a joystick, but see, the thing is... the majority of stuff I play uses 8-way, and it's nice to have a gamepad that is optimized for that, rather than a joystick that is not.

And it rumbles, too, but I didn't need that.

Anyway I'm bored bored bored. Playing Final Fantasy 7. Gotta go to work tomorrow.

OH YEAH. I FORGOT! HILLY IS COMING TO CALGARY FOR A WEEKEND! *bounces* YAY HILLY! :)

And I'm gonna go to Edmonton to see her sometime toooooo! YAY! :)

But she's not on right now. And so I'm bored. :P


current mood: bored

>3 mistakes ++ correct me<

Monday, May 28th, 2001
06:18 ++ May 28thPublic
Hi ho, Hi ho,

It's off to work I go. Yay!

I had a long talk with my first ex-girlfriend last night. It was a really bad breakup, but that's a story for another day. Suffice it to say it took us 3 years before we even spoke to each other again. But we're very close friends now, and I still care for her and take care of her. Girlfriend or not, she'll always be special, and hopefully always one of my best friends. That's basically what I told her last night too.

It was an exalting conversation, and I'm all happy now. Yey! Anyway, off to work I go.


current mood: refreshed

>1 mistake ++ correct me<

Saturday, May 26th, 2001
01:29 ++ May 26thPublic
The movie Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor is good. It is 3 hours 5 minutes long though. Ouch. And the ending is predictably America-centric. But other than that, it's a good movie. I liked it.

Yay airplanes! Yay bombers! Yay WW2! It made me want to watch Memphis Belle again, which by the way is just as good a movie, if not better.

>correct me<

Friday, May 25th, 2001
20:38 ++ May 25thPublic

I'm going to see Pearl Harbor, hopefully. Bye!

current mood: mellow

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

Monday, May 21st, 2001
21:47 ++ May 21stPublic
Hiya!

arararargh I have been trying to download a big zipfile of a certain 3D rendering program. I finally got the whole thing downloaded, last night and it was corrupt. Augh! So now I'm trying to download it again. I'm getting 52k/sec! I don't know how long it'll keep up this way though, or if the site will disconnect me mid-download. Augh. I really wanna play with this program!

Anyway, work again tomorrow. YAY! I love work. I get to be BITS (that is, Bradley the Information Technology Slave) tomorrow. Doing IT work. Which means: carting around monitors, listening to employees whine about their computer being broken or their account not working. :)

Meh, I love work though. :)

Happy Victoria's Day, all you Canadians out there!

>4 mistakes ++ correct me<

Sunday, May 20th, 2001
17:05 ++ May 20thPublic

I'm tired. I have a headache. I wanna eat. But not what's cooking. Meh. Oh well. Headaches suck...

current mood: hungry

>correct me<

Saturday, May 19th, 2001
09:27 ++ May 19thPublic
I don't mean to ruin your day,

But I'm afraid I've got something to say.

Seriously though. I apologise in advance for this (especially to Scruffy since I know he'll blame himself when I'm really not even talking about him). In fact I'm not even really talking specifically about anyone on LJ. I just have to say something before I flip out.

Okay. So. Meggi's gone. You know what? She needs to be gone from here, maybe. Her mom is smart. And Meggi's smart too. Her mom is really trying to HELP. It's a difficult thing to do, but someone has to do it eventually. Now is better than later.

In case no one noticed, Meggi was using all her online friends as a crutch. Yes, a crutch can be good. But you can't use them forever. You have to learn to stand on your own. And that's what Meggi needs to learn how to do now. And she will, because she wants to. She's got the strength and willpower to do it, I don't think anyone questions that. And now she has the desire. And I, for one, am very very happy for her.

Yes, she will be okay without all her friends. That is kind of the point of this exercise. Duh. I'm sure everyone has a different idea of what's best for her. I know I do. But you know what else I know? I know that Meggi's parents know Meggi better than I do, and most probably, better than you do. Don't be so arrogant as to assume otherwise. It's difficult to trust people when you've only heard one side of the story, I know, but I've seen glimpses of the other side of the story, and I'm telling you, Meggi's parents are good people. Trust them to do what is right, what is necessary, and they won't let you down. It may take time, it may not be fun, but we'll all get there.

While I'm posting to LJ, I'd like to say Hi to Caravan (Yay!), and bye to Sheyrena (We'll miss you...)

Anyway, it's the weekend, and I'm going to draw some fun 3d models. Bye.


current mood: bitchy

>4 mistakes ++ correct me<

Wednesday, May 16th, 2001
17:59 ++ May 16thPublic
Yay work!

I actually did work at work today. Not much work. But it felt like a lot for me. And I'm happy. And I have my own office with 2 other people now, which is much better than Lao's old office with 5 other people, considering it is about the same size. My desk's at the window. Yay.

So yeah. Today I converted some medium-sized database of townships (not towns... township is an area of some bizzare way of specifying positions called DLS. It is fearsome and evil) from Latitude/Longitude positions into Universal Transverse Mercator positions. Fun, eh? :) But I enjoy it!

Heheh. I like my job. I like my life. I like Calgary. Rock on.


current mood: accomplished

>1 mistake ++ correct me<

Tuesday, May 15th, 2001
21:23 ++ May 15thPublic

First day of work today. It was good. Now I'm tired. Sorry this'll be a short entry. Meh. :)

>6 mistakes ++ correct me<

Monday, May 14th, 2001
10:03 ++ May 14thPublic
Work

I start work tomorrow. Eeep.

I'm not sure whether to be excited or scared.


current mood: restless

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

Sunday, May 13th, 2001
09:04 ++ May 13thPublic
doing well

Okay, I've been starting to feel better. I vastly overestimated the distance of the nearest bus stop (It would've helped if it HAD been the nearest bus stop) and now I can bus downtown or to South Centre, or Chinook Centre without having to bug anyone for a ride or work around anyone else's schedule, and so I am plenty set. Now if only I had money! :D (Well, I'll have money on the 30th... first paycheck WOO! ;)

Also Mat had a friend over yesterday and we had a little LAN party with Total Annihilation. Much fun. Much destruction. The computer beat us up both times (We were playing with Bloodthirsty AI on hard difficulty) but I think I won as far as the human players went. It was MY two-pronged attack that battered open an air-corridor to their base after all. Mmm 4 Krogoths coming in the front door and 12 heavy battleships on their outer coast battering the rear of their base.

Oh yeah. A good friend of mine Emily would like more people to comment on her journal. She's a sweetie. You should go say hello to her. :)


current mood: optimistic

>4 mistakes ++ correct me<

Thursday, May 10th, 2001
12:31 ++ May 10thPublic
Bored.

Hmm its a bit quiet around here and I have no one to hang out with. Timezones suck, too. I think I need a vehicular unit. Like a bike. Yes, I think my first paycheck is going to buy me a bike. I need transportation. I need to go places. Like, on my own. I could walk, but it's like half an hour to the nearest store, and that's just a crappy convenience store/strip mall.

Anyway yeah I feel lonely. Now that I'm in Alberta I wanna go meet some of my Internet friends around here :) But I can't, apparently.

And I need food. Cecil food. Not Lao food. Wah.


current mood: lonely

>6 mistakes ++ correct me<

Wednesday, May 9th, 2001
22:26 ++ May 9thPublic
Programming job!

I started on the 15th before the interview. I went to the interview. Now I start on the 15th. In other words, I still have the job. ;)

Wheeee.

>3 mistakes ++ correct me<

Tuesday, May 8th, 2001
13:41 ++ May 8thPublic
Settling in... a bit

Well, got my credit card address updated. Apparently I can transfer my Ontario Learner Driver's license to a full Alberta license, no questions asked. According to one of the registries around here anyway. That would be cool. Bizzare, but cool.

I've got a headache right now. And I'm tired. And I'm listening to music. Oh yeah, did I mention that I have my own computer back? Phew. I love you Goldeneye. (That's his name) I can't live without you! *Sniffle*

I am still settling in here. I still feel a bit uncomfortable. I think it will pass, but, until then.. Meh. A house of our own would be nice. Then I can set it up at least moderately the way I want to. Like having my computer in my own room, instead of in the living room. Awk, evil. :)

They're doing their best to make me feel at home, but still, it's not really home. And I think it'll help when I get a driver's license and a car to drive and my own paycheck and stuff. Be a little more independent, then things'll settle in. I guess. I mean, gee, I spent a month here before and everything was cool. No rush. Calm yourself, Cecil. ;)


current mood: uncomfortable

>1 mistake ++ correct me<

Friday, May 4th, 2001
13:40 ++ May 4thPublic
I'm leaving, on a jet plane (or a family sedan, as the case may be)

This'll be a quick update, but I wanted to thank ttyp0 and Aurie for their very helpful replies to my last silly little post. Thank you both, I'm sorry I didn't reply, but I couldnt' find the words. I did read them, I did take it to heart, and you really helped, though.

I'm packing for Calgary. This will most likely be my last post for a few days until I arrive in Calgary. I'll be fine. I'm excited. Yay. :)

I love all you guys. Thanks for being there. *SUPER HUGS TO YOU*!


current mood: excited

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

Tuesday, May 1st, 2001
19:28 ++ May 1stPublic
My solo pictures

Well, here are the pictures from my solo. Vroom.



Hope you enjoyed them. :) I know I did! *laughs*


current mood: lonely

>8 mistakes ++ correct me<

Monday, April 30th, 2001
19:22 ++ Apr 30thPublic
Meggi

For those of you wondering, Meggi is okay. The guy who makes me want to break things will post about it later, he says, so you can all head over there or to that community that makes me miss certain people to find out about it later on tonight I guess.

But yeah, she's okay.

And I'm lonely, so there.


current mood: lonely

>1 mistake ++ correct me<

12:26 ++ Apr 30thPublic

I'm tired, and packing for Calgary, and this cold/flu/whatever is agonizing me.

I kind of downplayed how bad I felt over the past couple days so no one would yell at me for doing my solo this weekend. I needed to get it done. :P Well, I did it, and it was all good, and now I feel like crap twice run over. Yet another feverish night of tossing and turning and coughing and sneezing and waking up in a cold sweat. Suck! I think I'll go take some more medicine and go lay down. Nite nite.

I hope Meggi's okay right now. And Hilly too. And all of Meggi's friends. *hugs*


current mood: sick

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

Sunday, April 29th, 2001
18:38 ++ Apr 29thPublic
0.5 hours dual, 0.2 hours solo!

I did my first solo flight today, with all of my family in attendance! Yay! We were doing some more circuits until I could settle things in, but the weather was better and the wind was excellent this afternoon, and I nailed 4 landings in a row. On the last landing, the instructor radioed my 'turning final' call and said it would be a full stop. We taxied over to the ramp, she told Flight Service that I'd be going up for one more circuit, and then she patted me on the shoulder, said "Good luck!" and hopped out. :)

Wheehaw. I got a first solo certificate, I got my Pilot Training Record certified so that I can bring it out to Calgary with me, and of course my family got a bunch of pictures. :) Even the Flight Service guys radioed in and congratulated me. Hee hee. :)

Anyway, we're going out for a celebratory dinner now. ;) Sorry I can't write more, seeya all soon!


current mood: jubilant

>5 mistakes ++ correct me<

14:03 ++ Apr 29thPublic
It never rains but it pours.

I am not soloing yet. I am tired. And I am sick. I woke up this morning covered in sweat. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night. Ugh. Flying some more at 3:30 today.

Meggi deleted her journal. How sad. :(

I don't even know what to say. Beh. I'll just go fall over and collapse and die and cry and something. I'm so not having a good day today. One kick in the teeth after another. It never rains but it pours.


current mood: crushed

>7 mistakes ++ correct me<

Saturday, April 28th, 2001
10:42 ++ Apr 28thPublic
I'm good to go, I think

Well I feel a bunch better now. Still got a sore throat, but that's nothing critical. I think I'm flying today. Good.

It's nicer today than it was yesterday, not as windy, and hopefully I won't be doing any crosswind landings anyway, so... crosswind landings can kiss my butt. I don't like landing a plane that's tilted and angled sideways. It's much less easy. ;) It's amazing how much difference a good approach makes. If your approach is nice, landings are a breeze. It's when you have a crappy approach that landings are the most difficult part of flying, and it's then that it takes skill. If you get configured early, it's great. (I love straight-in finals... pleeeenty of time to get setup. I wish I could extend my downwind a bit more sometimes)

A week from now, I'm leaving Welland, permanently. Wow. I've never lived outside the Niagara Region in my entire life, and here I am going to Calgary. Wheefun. :) Yay for me! Wow. I'm as ready as I'll ever be, though. I'm pumped. This is it. This is the break I've been waiting for folks. Now it's time to get down to ... business. ;) Time for Cecil to make his millions and show up all those people who were laughing on the inside when I told them I was going to be rich. Here... goes... nothing! Or everything, depending on how you look at it. :)

If anyone thinks I am anything less than dead serious about this, well, I can't wait to prove you wrong. Nyah. ;)


current mood: anxious

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

08:33 ++ Apr 28thPublic
felt a bit sick last night

crrrap. I am sick. Not really sick, but just borderline sick. A scratchy throat and I felt slightly feverish last night. Now I feel a bit better, this morning, but the question remains: Should I cancel my flying lesson today? Flying when you're even remotely sick is usually discouraged. Supposedly flying can aggravate a number of different kinds of illnesses. Plus the fact that you really need to be 100% to give flying the attention it deserves.

But I mean, the fever seems gone, not that it was really severe, I just felt a bit chilly and wanted another blanket. Maybe it was just cold last night. (I doubt it)

So, graa. I have no idea whether to cancel or not. If I cancel, it means my solo will not be this weekend, my grandma will not be around to see it, so we'll likely stretch it out towards the end of next week and try to spread out the financial burden a bit. And I don't really feel that sick anymore.

Sometimes I wish that life would either be black, or white, with none of this gray borderline BS. :P


current mood: cold

>correct me<

Friday, April 27th, 2001
13:15 ++ Apr 27thPublic

Going flying soon. Yay. Vroom vroom vroom. More circuits, obviously.

I have a sore throat. Oh well.


current mood: okay

>1 mistake ++ correct me<

Thursday, April 26th, 2001
22:13 ++ Apr 26thPublic
I'm... done? DONE? For REAL?

Well. Okay. I'm done school. Done done done. DONE. No more school for the REST OF MY DAMN LIFE.

Or until I decide to go back. But it is fun to pretend. ;)

I passed all my courses, except one which I'm not completely absolutely sure about (still pretty sure though) but I'll have to wait to see about that one. It has the nicest teacher on earth, who loves me and knows I know more about the course than he does, so I don't think he'd actually let me fail even if I did miss the biggest one of the four labs. ;) And I did suuuper on the tests, and I had a 100% at midterm, so I think I'm okay. (yes it's pretty sad that I can have 100% at midterm and then have to wonder whether I passed or not. can you say slacking off? in that course anyway, heh... was worrying about other things)

So I'm pretty sure I have my diploma. Wheeeee. Thanks to everyone for their happy birthdays yesterday and everything.

I did some flying today, first hour of circuits. Take off, circuit, land, take off, circuit, land, repeat. ;) Fun. I'm so exhausted. Got two more hours of circuits tomorrow. Then another two on Saturday which should give me the 5 hours I need, then two hours booked on sunday, just in case of weather, or extra lessons I may need, etc. Then I solo, on Sunday. VROOM VROOM VROOM.

I'm so completely exhausted. *Falls over* oof.


current mood: tired

>4 mistakes ++ correct me<

Wednesday, April 25th, 2001
19:37 ++ Apr 25thPublic
my birfday

Happpppppy Biiiiiirthday to MEEEEEE!

*sniffles at Meggi* I don't even get a birfday post? Pooh. Ah well, you're going through... something... right now I guess. *hugs* Be well. I'm here if you need me.

I passed my PSTAR test! I am now officially a student pilot, and ready to go solo as soon as I do a few more lessons! Wooooh! Hopefully I'll go solo by this weekend!

My grandpa took me out to celebrate at a favourite *ahem* bar of his, "Seductions". Don't get me wrong, my grandpa isn't THAT old. :P It was interesting. We didn't stay long, just had a quick drink (7up for me, thanks) and look around. Heh. Not the kind of place I frequent, but okaaay. :)

Anyway, vroom. I'm having Ice Cream Cake tonight, and watching some movies, X-Men DVD I think is on the playlist. No gifts, people are giving me money for flying lessons, that's great, I'm cool with that.


current mood: weird

>11 mistakes ++ correct me<

14:04 ++ Apr 25thPublic

Happy birthday to ME!

Going to complete my PSTAR today. It's the test I need to do to get my student pilot license so I can go solo. I tried it twice yesterday (two different tests, obviously) and got 76%, and 78%, respectively, so I decided I needed to do some more studying, which I have. You need a 90% to pass the exam, it's 50 questions multiple choice about various air regulations. It's free to take it fortunately. *phew*. So I think I'm okay now, should be able to pass it today.

I got all my database crap done yesterday, burning the midnight oil.. stayed up until 3:50, set my alarm for 6am to work on it more in the morning, so I got like 2 hours of sleep. I'm running on caffiene my friends. Happy Birthday to me indeed. Had yet another exam today, it was Database-driven Websites. By the way, this is a different kind of Database class, it's not the Database I'm always whining about.. that's Systems Analysis. I hate Systems. I don't know why I call it Database, maybe because it's ALWAYS ABOUT DATABASES. Argh. Die Systems. Stupid stupid stupid. I hate Systems. Systems presentation is tomorrow at 1:30. I've got a math makeup test tomorrow morning too for one I missed early in the semester. But after tomorrow I'm DONE. DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!

I'm going to be SO brain damaged though. There will be nothing but tatters left of my poor sanity.

>13 mistakes ++ correct me<

Tuesday, April 24th, 2001
23:54 ++ Apr 24thPublic
feeling

I'm bouncy. Not really happy, but.. bouncy. I think the ibuprofen is finally kicking in and making my headache go away. Good drugs, yay.

Emmy was being a sweetie tonight. Thanks hon, I needed it, and appreciated it. :) And Hilly was hanging out with me for a bit and making me feel unlonely. So were Velusip and Sheyrena as always. And Chrissy too! And Brita, Caravan, and Wulfgar (<-- He's new to LJ by the way! Add him as a friend! He's an awesome guy!) You guys all rock. I'm sure I'm forgetting people too. Sorry, eep, just sooo many people keeping me company on the MOO tonight.

And I hope she feels better soon. I really reaalllly do. *huge hugs*

Thanks everyone, you all mean so much to me. :) *snuggles all of you*


current mood: refreshed

>4 mistakes ++ correct me<

14:21 ++ Apr 24thPublic
me brain dead oof

my brain is collapsing in on itself. my brain is fried. I give up.

I forgot I had a lab to hand in this morning. nothing big, but, argh. I didn't just forget, I mean, I like... FORGOT, completely. I just.. decided not to wake up, because I really thought I had nothing to do today. retard.

so tired... so tired...

*falls over*


current mood: exhausted

>correct me<

Monday, April 23rd, 2001
14:08 ++ Apr 23rdPublic

mutter mutter. got to math. forgot my calculator. dumbass. forgot my normal curve and t-distribution charts. dumbass. I had to ask the teacher to borrow his calculator. and then his charts. I think the teacher almost wanted to kill me. or almost wanted to cry. I'm not sure which. eep. I think I did okay on it though.

And then I had networking, and was done in half an hour. ha, as if that was hard.
easiest... exam... ever!

Wow, and my business exam was on friday... so that means I've only got one exam left . Woooo. DIE SCHOOL.

I'm so, so done.


current mood: relieved

>correct me<

09:54 ++ Apr 23rdPublic
skool, exams, crap

yay I was right. math exam at 10:30 I'm safe.

but OMG, 3 exams today, and one of them is not an exam, it's a presentation of a lab I haven't gotten done yet. UGGGGH. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS SCHOOL CRAP IS OVER.

I've only got a week left, and I'm still not convinced it won't kill me by then. Finish finish done quit over damn god fuck swear crap damn I'M DONE. Mentally, I think I'm already in Calgary. My body's just working on catching up.


current mood: aggravated

>correct me<

08:47 ++ Apr 23rdPublic

okay. I think my math exam is during the time we normally have math class.

if it's not, um, um, I'm screwed. Anyway, I am going to do my database homework that is due today (gee what else is new) and uh... damnit, I don't have VB installed. Grr. I'm such an idiot sometimes.


current mood: uncomfortable

>correct me<

01:47 ++ Apr 23rdPublic
Blame! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

Why does a person blame themselves for things?

I mean like really, what is the point? What does it accomplish? If your answer is "nothing"... sorry sir, you lose.

The whole reason for blaming yourself for things (which should be done in moderation, but that is another story) is so that you can learn from the experience and fix what's wrong for the future. Pitying yourself gets you nowhere.

What the hell are you blaming yourself for? Think about it. If it's some stupid reason like "I suck" or "I'm a bad person" or "I dunno", well then you have two options. You can either stop blaming yourself because there's nothing to blame yourself for, obviously. You can't even come up with a real answer, how can you blame yourself for something that doesn't exist? Or you can go with the other option, which is to suck it up, stop pitying yourself, and sit down and think. If you're not willing to stop blaming yourself, at least have a damn good reason why you are blaming yourself. A DAMN good reason. And then what do you do, once you've found the real reason? Do something about it. Don't just sit there like an ass.
How can you rectify your problem? It's never an easy question to answer, but there's always an answer. Figuring out the question is always the hardest step. Much harder than finding the answer. You've gotten this far. So go find an answer. You've got a question, now, you've got a direction. Find the answer. Improve yourself. Ask around if you have to. But find an answer, and follow through on it.

I could explain why I posted this, but that would make it a helluva lot less fun, wouldn't it? Besides, it doesn't really matter. Read it. Do it. Make yourself a better person.


current mood: contemplative

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<

00:32 ++ Apr 23rdPublic
Yeah, try it

Someone just told me "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."

Well, in response, let me quote Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black: "Try it."

I should get to sleep. I have two exams tomorrow. I don't know when the one is. I'll have to go into school and whine at the registrar's office to tell me. Oops. Sigh.


current mood: annoyed

>2 mistakes ++ correct me<


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